the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
