I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
