he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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