So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
