i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
