So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
