idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
