Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize