their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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