i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
