I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
