i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
