we have pet lesbian snakes
My friends, they love my intelligence
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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