This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You're like the curious george of whores
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
