i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
