I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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