i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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