Got a toothbrush?
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm getting married
To pizza
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
