If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
