apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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