There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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