Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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