just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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