i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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