around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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