If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
