I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Sober January is a disaster.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
