Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
