I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
