she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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