dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
