I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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