i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
