me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize