after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have aggressive nipples.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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