Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
