I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
