12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
