I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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