Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
