I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
