I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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