Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
