Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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