the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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