Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
