Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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