let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
