it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
