the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
