i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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