5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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