Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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