Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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