i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
