I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize