I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
