I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
