You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
no. you can't hotbox the world.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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