i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
