I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
