the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
