I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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