i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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