I feel like I'm in dance class right now
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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