butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
