Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
