CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
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