If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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