I can't watch pbs sober anymore
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
