one two three fourrrrnication!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
