so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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