Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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