Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry capnseagull hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(312): View more from Illinois

she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?

(1-312): View more from Illinois

not while she was awake

Fav 15 2937 1673
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line

Fav 51 10861 1878
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."

Fav 16 2302 4044
share tweet
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine

Fav 15 4273 1774
share tweet
(319): View more from Iowa

After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.

Fav 4 1462 827
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.

Fav 4 2502 1029
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(765): View more from Indiana

Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?

Fav 8 2184 848
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours

Fav 1 90 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.

Fav 0 34 66
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT