belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I party with great urgency now.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
