i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
