I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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