I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
