god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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