he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize